Monday, April 10, 2017

Life now. Niena babbles.

Assalamualaikum

Apparently, it's been a long time since I last blogged. Reason? Because I was adjusting my life, everything is so overwhelming and I have no good points to write for the readers. 

Teeeettttt..!!

Hahaha trust me, those are not the reasons!! The actual reason is because my house here in Shah Alam has a very very very super very weak internet connection. Guess this would be a great usrah point haha since no one's gonna be distracted by the internet. Lol. 

Anyway, looking at my last post, it's worth mentioning that my life has now changed a lil bit. In a sense that I am now employed with Allah's mercy and greatness. And what makes me should count my blessings more is that I am now working at a very nice place, a place that suits my heart, Idrissi International School. For me, it's not like going to school, but it's more like going to a home full of kids. It's hard to explain but the building can already tell you. 

The point I'm back on my keyboard today is just to reflect another thing. 

I have this feeling. This feeling of moving to 25. It is just a number but to me, it is not just a number. It really makes a difference that we're finishing almost half of our life.  25 is another process of growing up. It's an adulting process. Just as hard as a preschooler to shift to primary (talking from my own experience dealing with Year 1 kids. Allah knows how arduous it is), as rebellious as a primary to secondary phase of transition. 

You have this one thing called EGO. You want to be who you want to be but you know the path is not as straight and as uninterrupted as you wish it to be. You also start to worry way too much on that thing called money. And also, you start to get headache thinking of your yet-to-be-seen life partner. Just combine everything in one, you'll have that emotional, physical, mental and spiritual struggle. 

At this point in life, you become as fragile as a glass, as frail as a moth. You need to really take a deep breath on every step you take. It's a very challenging phase of life of whether only you turn right or left. You cannot be on that junction forever. But whatever path you take, it's a matter of time and you will make it as long as you have faith in The Almighty. 

I like this song. It kinda relate me with whatever I'm babbling here. 

"So let me go. Give me dashes on the road. Maybe I'm walking to a place I don't know...."

*tugas anda adalah untuk mencari tajuk lagi dan nama penyanyi lagu ni 😏*

Sekian. Thanks to the loyal readers *kalau ada kihkih*

Sunday, January 8, 2017

I'm so sick of it

Why is it every time?
I swear every single time.

Is it because of me?
If it's from her that it's okay.
If it's from me, there's always an issue.

I'm so sad.
Seriously luluh.

Ni ke orang cakap tribulasi?
Aku tak cukup kuat.
Rasa taknak buat dah.

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Rezeki

Kalau dah nama bukan rezeki,
kau dah beli,
dah bayar,
dah masuk dalam mulut,
tetiba ada sekor kucing oren lalu,
kau tak nampak,
kau tersepak,
tersadung,
tercampak donat panas kau tu,
sebab memang tertulis,
bukan rezeki kau.

Rezeki rahsia Allah,
putaran hidup kita hari-hari.

Lain dengan jodoh.
bukan senario hari-hari.
bila once kau dah akad tu,
ha insyaAllah dialah jodoh kau.
ni aku belum cerita bab cerai-berai.
sebab cerita tu tak enak.

Sama jugak rezeki kerjaya,
dah pergi interview,
dah berjalan lancar,
kau nampak jalannya bercahaya,
kau dah dapat kata putus dari pengetua kata dia nak jumpa kau untuk stage kedua dengan senior principal,
kau tunggu panggilan,
kemudian kau dapat panggilan,
dia cakap dia akan call next week pulak,
kau tunggu lagi,
kesudahannya kau dapat email cakap kau tak berjaya untuk interview seterusnya,
kau terpinga,
eh kenapa pengetua tu bagi kau harapan cenggitu,
lepas tu kau ingat,
yelah pengetua tu bukan Tuhan,
walau dia izinkan,
tapi Tuhan tak izinkan,
hati kau diuji lagi,
diuji dengan keyakinan kau terhadap Ar-Razaq,
Al-Wahab.

Sebab Dia tahu ada benda lain lebih baik untuk kau.
Jadi Niena, teruskan berusaha,
Tanam dalam hati kau paling dalam,
Semua HANYA akan berlaku dengan IZIN-NYA,
bukan semestinya kemahuan kau.
Kau kena hadam.

Semoga pembuka 2017 memberikan yang terbaik untuk diri aku.
Tahun ni aku belum pasang azam.
Sebab aku terlalu depressed semenjak dua menjak ni.
Aku terbuai dengan tafsiran 'berjaya' dunia.
Aku lupa bukak kamus akhirat.

Doakan aku istiqamah.