Friday, September 30, 2016

Complicated

People say if you're angry, 
Just step back and look for the reason of your anger. 
But in my case, if I'm angry, I couldn't even see the reason behind it. 
I will just keep quite and speak loudly inside my head.
As a result, I lost my mood. 
I feel like not talking to anyone. 
I MEAN IT!! 
Like, people, just go away!  

That's why, 
I don't like being angry. 
Because I totally can't control myself. 
I just can't. 
If I try hard to replace my anger with joy, it'll just make my eyes filled. 
Each and every time. 

Sorry man. Women are intricate human being.

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Gila tak cuak

John's here.
Now with Miza.
Less than 1 hour, it'll be my turn.
Wish me luck.

Semoga dilancarkan bicara,
dimudahkan fikiran,
dilapangkan hati,
diberi ketenanga setenang melihat senyuman Rasulullah.
Sallallahualaihi Wasallam.


Wednesday, September 21, 2016

There are some students who can really make me walked away from their class grinning with satisfaction. 

Ahh. That feeling. 

Monday, September 5, 2016

Practicum post #10 [Salah masuk kelas]

Today jaga exam. 

*Entered the class, asked students to put all the books away. Me, writing the word 'Geografi , 8.00 am -9.00 am, 1 hour 30 minutes' when suddenly when I finished writing another teacher was right behind me, observing me writing before.*

He smiled amusingly and said, "Terima kasih la tolong tulis noh" sambil tunjuk label kelas.* 

Adoyai malu. Salah masuk kelas. Takpa cikgu baru. 

Insecurity

I don't know whether this kinds of feelings assail only creatures called female or just everyone. 

One of the reasons to know whether you are comfortable with someone is that you don't feel insecure nor better off than that someone. 

Lately, insecurity embraces me in all angles. I'm trying not to think too much but I just couldn't. 

Until I had this conversation with Nad. 

Sometimes, I try not to regard one friend as better than the other. But she's just that one person who I can totally be myself without worrying too much on anything. 

That's what complementary and compatibility mean I guess.

Thank you Allah. 

Sunday, September 4, 2016

Practicum post #9 [Nicknames]

When I entered a new class, I always asked my students.

"Who in this class got 'special' names?"

Just my personal technique of memorizing students' names (if not all).

Then students would start cracking up and shouting all those sorts of weird names.And today I learnt another super weird name. 

Torshaq.

I asked them "Huh? What's that? How do u spell it?" 

Then they were like "T.O.R.S.H.A.Q" in chorus.

Surprised again. I asked "What the heck is that? How did you derive that?"

Students again, burst out laughing. 

"Motor besaq teacher". 

πŸ˜“πŸ˜“πŸ˜“πŸ˜“

Ohhoi macam-macam. Ohmaisekolahasrama.

Practicum post #8 [Awkward]

Common ways of dealing with awkwardness. 

Either you smile and chuckle pretentiously like you understand what that person's talking about, add on some pokes and slapping around
Or
You repeat his/her last few words and nod sensibly
Or
You pretend like enjoying the conversation with some chuckles and end up giving up saying "Tak paham" with a straight face.😐

Practicum post #7 [Class Trip]

Students : Teacher, teacher, teacher from New Zealand eh? 

Me: Yes, I studied there. 

Students: Oh teacher, we are going to NZ too. Ada rombongan?

Me: What? Class trip to NZ? 

Student A: Yes, cikgu xx organises it. 

Me: So how are you going to be selected? 

Student A: No selection. Anyone can go. As long as you can pay. 

Me: How much?

Student B: 3k each. 5k for UK. The rest will be sponsored by yayasan xx. 

Ohhoii zaman aku dulu trip ke Muzium padi pun dah syiok macam apa. Sobbs. Generation gap, social status gap, age gap, sobbs.

*pegi cafe cek dompet. Nangis*

Practicum post #6 [Reminiscing]

Part of the thoughts that linger in my mind when I'm doing my teaching

"Which student in this class is most likely to be like myself when I was in their place? πŸ€”"
"This class clown is so like one of my classmates named bla3..πŸ˜†"
"This face looks exactly like my classmate 😯"
"Erghh boyss will be boys, *πŸ˜žπŸ™„recalling my old schoolhood memories*"
"Why do I keep forgetting their names??😫"
"Do these people know how's life like beyond their school gate? πŸ€”"
"Don't they have any idea that they will not contact each other in the future as much as they are picking on each other today? 😭"
"Was I this nervous taking tests/exams when I was at their age? πŸ€’" 

Well, how time flies. My time was like what... 7-10 years ago?? 😱😱😱

Practicum post 5 [Forever young part 2]

It's been a month but we still got form 1 students passed us by saying "Assalamualaikum kak" dengan muka penuh innocent. 

Takpelah dik, at least better than makcik. πŸ˜‚

Practicum post #4 [Forever young]

Walking to the school today, with us two wearing t-shirt and pants. Because this week is activity week, so casual wear for the whole week except yesterday. 

As we entered the school area, all eyes on us. First I was like, aku je kot perasan. Then went to do our thumbprint routine and a teacher said "nak p mana?" And we were looking at each other, "err g sekolah" said one of us. 
*dalam hati was like, kenapa tanya macam tu, obviously nak g sekolah".
Then, another teacher acknowledged "aik hampa main apa hari ni? Ingatkan main sukan, nak p pasaraya ka". 

Then went into the staffroom, pheww a few teachers were also wearing 'casual'. Then went to the cafe, another teacher said "pakai macam ni hari ni depa tak tau la student ka teacher". Then another teacher greeted "suka makan ayam ni, macam student jugak noh" *while looking at the drumstick in my plate* 

All this while, I was trying hard to dress (to impress) like a teacher and suddenly once they see us in a casual wear, that impression's gone. πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…

Practicum post #3 [Salam]

I entered a class today and at the end of the lesson asked the students.
 
Me: Can I just ask you a quick question before I leave?

Students: Yeeees! (chorus answer, what Malaysian students are good at)

Me: Do you usually 'bagi salam' to your teachers outside classroom? (cause I see that's not quite happening, so I just hope by asking they'll get what I'm trying to say)

Students: Yeeeeeesss! *confidently*

Me: *giving them a weird look, showing my dissatisfaction*

Student A: Maybe because we don't know you're teacher, so we don't 'bagi salam' to you. 

Me: I see. That's my assumption too. Fair enough. *pasting a satisfying smile*

Student B: Because you look too young teacher (eleeeeh, pancing lettew)

Me: Okay class, thank you then *smiling, walking out of the class*

In the evening, I went to the office to do some photocopying stuffs and heard a student shouting "Teacher!" from the upper level. 
I turned my back and saw the students from the class I entered earlier. 

"Assalamualaikum teacher".

Ces. Korang nganjing aku eh.