Sunday, March 29, 2015

Expectation

Too many things happening right now
And it feels so overwhelming
This is a tough time for me and my team.

One mistake made and that's it
Would it be like before?
If you ask me now, I would answer it no.
So frustrating man.
I keep making the same mistake.

To whoever it may concern,
I am so sorry.
Deeply.
But that was just me.
And I'm trying to be a better person.
Everyday is a struggle for me.
I hope people around me would support me, not judge me.

I don't know but I can sense the feeling of insecurity in me starting this year.
Though I'm happy but there are things keep bothering my mind.
I hate it when I don't get the answer for things that happen.
But that's life anyway.

May the force be with me and my people.
And my people are those who are...really? Not sure. Everyone lah. 

Aaaa aaa kenapa kau pelik doo? Fine. Bai


Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Reaction

Sebab tu aku suka cerita kat miza
Sebab aku rasa miza je kenal aku
And ada la jugak a few others

Kadang-kadang aku menyesal, kenapa lah aku cerita
Tapi tu lah aku
Bila rapat sangat dengan orang aku suka cerita rahsia
Tapi kadang-kadang respons orang tu macam hmmm
Menyesal la cerita
Tu je aku boleh cakap


Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Perbezaan Pemikiran

Allah ciptakan akal untuk manusia berfikir. 
Tapi itulah, semua orang berfikir jadi semua orang jadi bijak pandai sampai kadang-kadang serabut jugak.
Base nya semua Islam.
Tapi fikrahnya berbeza.
Penat jugak kadang-kadang fikir.
Semua akan rasa dia yang betul.
Semua ada hujah masing-masing kan.

Yang jadi susahnya method kadang-kadang terlampau.
Aku rasa dalam hal ni prinsip tu memang penting tapi entah, kadang-kadang sampai hilang belas, hilang timbang rasa, hilang naluri kemanusiaan.
If only we are one.
I am not writing to blame anyone.
Rather, to express my disappointment.
Which will change nothing.
Tak apa lah asalkan masing-masing mengamalkan nilai-nilai Islam.
Fokus jelah terhadap persamaan.
Kalau fokus dekat perbezaan memang tak boleh nak bersatu sampai bila-bila. 

And aku diuji dengan ujian yang sangat berat tahun ni.
Rasa tanggungjawab sebagai seorang Muslim tu teruji betul.
Kadang-kadang buntu, rasa nak give up.
Tapi bila rasa nak give-up tu ingat bayangan hari akan ditanya.
Mampus nak jawab apa kalau Allah tanya aku nanti.
Apa ja aku buat?
Sedih.
Nak nangis.
Ya Allah berilah aku kekuatan.
Terima kasih atas kurniaan rakan-rakan yang menyayangi di sekeliling.
Sekurang-kurangnya merekalah penyebab semangatku masih ada.
Dan semestinya, hanya dengan izinMu semua ni berlaku.


Thursday, March 12, 2015

Third Year, Auckland

The starting was kinda awful.
The first week was real tough. Like really.
I felt that's the wrongest (worst) decision I've ever made.
I was mad, like really mad and I just said whatever I wanna say.
I could feel the devil in me at that time.
Should've led by example but I failed.

But as time passed, things seem to get better.
I hope it will continue getting better.

And now Alhamdulillah I'm happy.
Thank God.

Third year baru nak terhegeh join Bersatu. Tu la kau, dulu awkward sangat.
Menyesal weh tak join dari first year. I was underestimating myself for no longer being able to play sports. I thought I was too old for sports and that I've no stamina but so far, not too bad I guess. Instead, I enjoyed playing so much. I feel like everything in my head just go away, like far far away. And it feels as happy as in my old days when handball is a big part of my life. 

Bapak ah over.

Dia macam bukan la kecewa, tapi lebih kepada terkilan begitu and the feeling of 'kenapa?' would always come and I decided not to answer. But wishing u all the good things in life anyway. 

And this semester, I got to learn Maths again :D sewonoknyeww wuwuwuwuuu

And yeah, no idea how to stop this. Will dump some pictures for no absolute reasons. 

the kinda of face when I'm leaving

meeting these two bambam again


baru first week dh ada yang injured. alahai kapten futsal kami.
okbai. benci plak rasa post ni. tapi takpelah. rasa nak meluahkan.