Sunday, February 16, 2014

Treat or treated

Too many things in life do not go our way.
Sometimes it's disappointing that we cried a river.
Yet, we forgot that whatever happened is the best for us.
Because Allah knows the best.
I'm sad and jealous.
Even though I know I can't feel so.
Yet the feelings  keep coming.
I do question myself sometimes, 
do they love me as much as I do?
Or my presence is not as important as the others?
Once I love someone, it's hard for me to 'unlove' them. 
I feel like sometimes, my presence is not welcomed and celebrated.
Unlike the others.

I know I am expressive.
I can't keep good things to myself.
It's my nature I love to share them to my loved ones.
But when it comes to miserable stuffs,
I hate to tell people.
It makes me look dumb.
And less loved.

Today, I think, there's only one person that I can be happy with. 
But I'm not sure whether she's happy being with me.
I know she hates to be loved.
May Allah keep you in his mercy. 

Thank you for treating me well.

My family? No, they are irreplaceable. 
But soon, I have to stand on my own two feet.
Only their dua will be with me. 

Thank you.
This entry just valid for today, or perhaps at this moment. 

Monday, February 10, 2014


Maybe I should start thinking about marriage. 
Or perhaps, engagement. 

Wednesday, February 5, 2014



Because we live in a different circle.

Why circle? Because if a circle is spoilt, it is not called a circle. Perhaps oval. Or irregular shape. Like an animal cell which has no cell wall to maintain its shape. Circle is fixed, thus it’s secure.To alter its shape, you have to lengthen the diameter, or make a new circle instead. And you have to have a special tool called ‘compasses’.

It’s hard for us to jump into another circle.

Back then, we were in the same circle. We laughed for the same stupid funny stuffs, and we cried for the same miserable shits.

Today, we are two different human beings. I’m happy with the circle I’m in now. J