Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Sydney with love

I can say that this is my first time blogging while on board. I was literally sitting on the seat next to Mira right now writing this because I really feel like writing.
I've been restraining myself from blogging these few days cause I have to vacant my house, do all the cleaning for the inspection and load all my stuffs from one building to another which is obviously not cool at all. 

Past few days, been in a fight (or probably quarrel I'd say). Ok nanak cakap omputih. Hmm ceritanya aku macam gaduh gakla ngan sorang. Pastu aku sedih. Dan marah. Dan rasa macam sampainya hati. Pastu rasa macam fine, siapalah aku. Pastu rasa terkilan. Pastu rasa serik. Apabila rasa rasa ini bergabung, apa yang boleh aku simpulkan, aku rasa SERABUT. Pasal benda tu, habis mood aku spoil. Rasa nak senyum pun kelat padahal aku jenis yg mudah terhibur and tak suka nak take things seriously (yeke? Aku rasa ye). Ok dah end of story.

Pastu hari ni plak ada drama lain. Huwargh pepagi siap siap nak g airport ada pulak kes orang taknak pegi. Aku separa mengamuk tapi berjaya menahan diri. Nasib baik yang sekeliling time tu semuanya orang orang tersayang maka tak termengamuklah aku di situ. Kalau tak, mungkin pinggan mangkuk akan jadi frisbee disc time tu. Haa

Ok jadi dengan ini berakhirlah my second year dekat Auckland itu. Tahun ini lain. Sangat lain. Dari segala dimensi. Ada beberapa orang yang baru kenal tapi rasa macam dah lama kenal. Sayang dia lain macam. Ikhlas berkawan mungkin. Tapi masalahnya jadi sedih bila mereka pulang. Haih. Sedih. Serious. 

Somehow syukur it ends this way. Tiada drama indon menyinggah. Phew. Biasalah kalau drama indon, dia bukan 20-30 episod baq ang. Paham2 ler.

Dulu syarat tu takde. Sekarang macam naklah. Sebab macam dah nampak hewhew. 

Tadi kan kitorang lari masuk gate macam hape. Lari memang lari betul lah sebab dah lambat. Pastu bila dh sampai tu stewardess tu siap tepuk tangan ha sebab last passengers. Phew carik pasal betul. Kalau terlepas flight tadi memang menangis tak berlagu laa.

Eh tapi seriouslah, kawan memang ramai. Tapi yang ikhlas tu tak ramai. Setengah kawan untuk bercerita masalah je, setengah untuk lepak kopi, setengah untuk mintak tolong siapkan keje, setengah untuk ajak shopping, setengah untuk ngutuk (nauzubillah, mintak dijuhkan), setengah memang kita rasa selesa dan sayang. Yang pesen ni biasa kita sentiasa rasa nak provide help untuk dia. 

Aku biasa memang campak sini semua yang terlintas. Jadi jarang cerita aku ada flow. So sekarang nak ke Sydney. Bai chuolls. Iolls nak jumpa Diba ngan Ucena.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

. . .

changed.
again.
just noticed it's kinda similar with someone.
not gonna use that anymore.

feeling funny
and insecure somehow
but they are good people I believe
the overly 'inner-child' drives them crazy
but I adapted.

al kisah dua orang cokcroaches.
dan aku oggy nya mungkin?

atau mungkin kisah the road runner show.

sebab kalau tom & jerry saling counter-attack.

ini kisah seorang yang helpless.
tapi disebabkan dah terbiasa menjadi sebati.
analoginya macam pelik lah kalau tetiba oggy asyik kenakan diorang.
hilang plot asalnya.
atau pelik lah jugak kalau si musang punya perangkap terkena.
sebab ceritanya si musang punya perangkap sentiasa tak menjadi.
walau plan nya gah.

what a life.
am I 21?
Oh mai. 
Kinda old.
Tetambah sini semuanya mostly muda2.
especially next year.
tabahla kau wahai senior merangkap paling senior mungkin?
dalam kalangan undergrad at least.
tapi tak pelah. 
life goes on.
kalau tak tua idok ler kawin.
eh.
kawin je ko pikir?
abis mati tak?
mati lebih pasti.


Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Bridge that must be crossed

Dunya
Indeed. 

"This worldly life has an end
And it's then real life begins
A world where we will live forever
This beautiful worldly life has an end
It's a just bridge that must be crossed
To a life that will go on forever

So many get caught in this beautiful web

Its gardens become an infatuation
But surely they'll understand at the final stop
That its gardens are meant for cultivation, oh"


Listened to this song over and over again.
Because I found it so beautifully written, by a person with a beautiful voice.
Which makes this song a beautiful song as a whole.
For me, it really summarizes the 40th hadith from Imam Nawawi. 
Sobbs.
Perasaan insaf memang on off. 
Sebab iman manusia turun naik
Tapi hopefully banyak naik daripada turun lah.
Sebab kau bukan tak mati niena.
Dengar ustaz sorang ni cakap dalam kuliah dia.

"Dalam sehari tu takkan tak boleh luangkan masa sikit nak mengaji (read as : belajar)?
Siang dah berseronok, malam pun berseronok.
Kalau tiap2 malam lepas maghrib ambik masa sikit dengaq orang sampaikan ilmu pun dah banyak ilmu akhirat bertambah.
Awat tak mati ka?"

Ha lebih kurang camtu bunyi dia. 
Pastu rasa macam dush.
Hmm lalainya manusia. 
*insert suitable emoji*

I wanna write poem.
So long haven't written any. 
Hmm.



Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Committee Tak Leh Move On

Betul dah tu. Memang tak leh move on. Dan memang taknak move on.
I guess 2014 is like one of the sweetest years in my life. Maybe second in rank after 2009?
Wow.
Cheesy nye kau.

Our very first group photo together. Masa ni aku awkward. Sangat. 60% rasa menyesal masuk AUC.
The very first serious discussion with PKPMI. I don't have the pictures of the girls =.='

Our first group photo in 2014. Dinner with the old committee. Time ni dah rasa sense of belonging. 

Tapi aku macam sopan2 lagi time ni. Malu lah jugak.
First event of 2014. Still not comfortable with everyone at this moment. Still trying to overcome my awkwardness.

Moment with UTM students. Surprisingly, we got along real fast.

This is on April I guess. 



And this is the turning point I think. Started to deeply fall in love with my team. Spirit AUC membara. Padahal supporter je pon! Haha



Iftar. Photo raya family.



I even had a chance to spend my time with Dato', eh i mean 'abang' Fazley. :P

Received a visit from a Malaysian delegation. I'm a proud Malaysian.

US with the delegation.


And this....is our last meeting. Couldn't believe it was over.

I love you guys

Even though you guys bullied me a lot.



These people. They cannot move on.



Belah kanan tu the hottest AUC guy. Berani kacau. Haha. Takdelah sebab Habib comel jadi kitorang semua fan dia hokey.

The sisters


And the bros. Swag lettew.

This presentation marks the end of my role as AUC secretary. A year flew so fast.


I owe this person a lot.

Final gathering for the year maybe? With a few of new committee. 



Thanks beautiful people. Sobbs. sedihh

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Cannot Move On

Takleh lah gini.
Sayang mereka semua.
Tak sangka.

Aku dapat perfume lagi :'D
And so it marks my 10th collection.
Sedap weh bau dia.
Bahaya betul dah obses cenggini.
Hmm.

Aku nak orang yang comel macam vocalist The Vamps tu.
Kembar besar nanti comel camtu please. 
Heee :D
Pwetty Puhliz,

Oh btw, aku dah tak suka dia pun so memang tak jeles langsung.
Baguslah.
Aku kalau suka orang pun hop on hop off je.
Suka sekadar suka-suka.
Heeee...

Nah tempek sikit gambar pakcik ni.

yang kiri sekali tuuuuu.. senyum dia tu.. *cair*

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Kurang dari sebulan

Yes, less than a month for me to meet my family.
Hhmm bila dah lama sangat tak jumpa family kadang-kadang dia jadi hilang pumca
Rasa tak semangat
Takde motivation
Tak tentu hala
Gitulah
Rasa rindu
Nak melawak nak mengusik ngan family semua
Takpa sabaq sat nanti kita balik tau
Dahla tiba-tiba depa bela kucing
Siap beli shampoo dengan botol susu dengan makanan kucing bagai
Ayah pun layankan aje

Hadoii
Hmm ceritanya kami bebudak AUC main gift exchange
Aku suka giler hokay hadiah yang aku beli kat orang tu
Haku dah lama aim
Tapi takpelah, orang kata nak bagi hadiah kat orang bagilah yang kita suka ye dok?
Hmm tapi aku risau aku dapat buku tu
Kalau betul lah, hmm ghedha ajelah

Weh next year ramai dah balik
Aku sedihh

Esok presentation

Kadang-kadang teringat zaman sekolah dulu.
Pejam celik pejam celik dah dekat 5 tahun aku tinggal zaman sekolah.
Dah dekat 5 tahun jugaklah aku hhmm haha abaikan.
Amende pikir pepelik? 

Aku memang tak sweet.
Kakak-kakak aku plak jenis sweet.
So selalu kalau depa sweet sesama depa, ngan aku aku geli.
Muahaha.
So depa selalu buli aku.
Aku lebih rela dibuli daripada disweetkan. 
Muahaha.

Kalau kat blog ni tanda baca memang ke laut.

Aku cuak sem ni ekceli. Doakan aku cemerlang.
Cemerlang semua aspek kehidupan lah kira.
Aku nak jadi baikkk.
Waaaaa.
Ya Allah pilihlah aku untuk menjadi hambaMu yang dekat denganMu
Sentiasa ingatkanMu tiap waktu dan ketika
Semoga kalian juga menjadi pilihanNya.


Friday, October 17, 2014

Wellington touchdown for the second.

Yeayy.
Sampai jugak aku ke Welly tahun ni.
Kalau tak si sisuka ni mesti bebel kat aku asyik ajak tak berhenti.
Perasaan bila berkumpul reramai tu MasyaAllah bestnya la hai.
Lagi best kalau semua ada.

Kenapa kami rapat?
Sebab kami pernah membenci satu sama lain satu ketika dulu.
Tapi KMS menyebabkan kami takde pilihan lain selain menerima masing-masing seadanya.
Susah senang bersama.
Orang pon dh cop kitorang 'budak tesl' which can associate with any connotations you give.
Some might be negative and some might as well be positive.
But we adapt.
And we survive.
Until today.

Ek eleh bajet lah kau buat entri pasal TESL.
Lek ah macam lah orang lain xde classmate/batchmate?
Suka hati aku lah!

Leya
Ecah
Nad
Mira Lyana
Icey
Syeera
Abu
Sapik
Yon
Amal
Vee
Ayu 
Farah
Niena
Tania
Zati
Miza
Mira Farzana

They are my family.
One of them is missing.
I don't know whether I should include his name or not.
Maybe not.


Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Busy sampai tak sempat bercinta

Minggu ni.
Adoyai penat baq ang.
Hhhmm.
Start daripada weekend.
Meeting last katakan, lepak tak ingat dunia.
Wuwuwuwuu sedihhh. Rinduuu.
Pastu dengan sibuk AGM lagi.
Pastu Isnin satu assignment.
Selasa pun.
Dan rabu pun.
Kelas memang suka hati aku lah nak masuk ke tak.
And now aku rasa penat nak mam.

Nampak tak caption aku mengarut?
Kadang-kadang rasa jugakla nak bercinta.

Aku sekarang tengah layan citer 'Maaf Jika Aku Tak Sempurna'
So kadang-kadang angau lebih. 
Muahahaa.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

sikit lagi

Sikit lagi je nak balik
Biasa memang macam tu
Bila dah dekat dekat nak balik, momentum jadi low. 
Call family pun dh jadi hari-hari.
Huru-hara sungguh hidup aku sekarang. 
Punca?
Sebab liat nak bangun pagi.
Sokmo tidur lepas subuh.
Guane nak kawin ni niena?
Masalahnya, perasaan jadi morning person tu sangatlah nikmat.
Rasa produktif sepanjang hari.
Tapi nak cuba bermujahadah itu Allahu rabbi, susahnya la hai.
Hari ni contohnya, aku dah determine nak bangun pagi, boleh je sebenarnya.
Oh tahniah niena. Bangga dengan kau.
Doakanlah saya mampu menyiapkan kerja-kerja assignment serta admin saya.
Pehh bekerjaya tak dengar?

Minggu depan nak g Welly.
Tak sabar nak menumpang rumah hell stairs Nadzirah Alias.
Weh Nad, weh weh weh. 
Kesian kita dah lama tak borak.
Atau mungkin selalunya one-sided. 
Aku je yang selalu cakap ye dok?
Ala ala alaaa tapi kau dah biasa kan?

Ha ni satu hal lagi, 
Kadang-kadang rasa nak tampor je.
Tapi aku sabor.
Nak marah pun harapan, apatah lagi nak naik tangan.
Takpe, sabar itu hikmah.
Moga-moga.

Weh weh weh aku dah nak resign.
Bye AUC. Thanks for everything.
Daripada zaman awkward sampaila zaman sokmo kena counterback.
Tapi takpe, aku ghedha.
Ghedha itu pasghah, pasghah itu menyeghah.
Dahla, jom buat assignment. 
Assignment tu lagi disiplin pada hang tau dak?
Depa beratuq elok ja. Isnin, selasa, rabu. 
Haaa mampos!

Ok kali ni betul, bai

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Kelas

Aku tahu dalam majlis ilmu tu ada barakah
Termasuk jugak kelas
Sebab dalam kelas tu ilmu disampaikan
Tapi kalau dah tak gi kelas guane?
Sekarang ni tak masuk kelas pun dh tak rasa bersalah.
Tidaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak.
Sebab aku ngantuk.
Bila bangun selalu kelas dh habis.
Hmmm.

Aku suka masuk kelas.
Tapi aku tak suka bangun pagi.
Tak suka nak keluar dari comforter.
Sebab dia comfortable.

Doh guane ni niena?
Bulan depan jadual kau macam sardine kau tahu?
Ubah perangai sikit boleh?
Arghh sabaq sat.
Pahni balik Malaysia.
Pastu minum coolblog blue coral milk tea kau,
Atau sour plum milk tea,
Atau hazelnut latte chatime,
Atau peppermint oreo bubblegurt,
Atau coconut shake teabag,
Tak pun laici kang keramat,
Senyap ah kau.

Study woi.
Satgi test.
Bai.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Jauh

Rasa jauh sekarang
Jauh sangat dari Dia
Rasa malu
Malu dengan Nya

Sedangkan ajal itu bukan makin menjauh
Mungkin satu kilometer, atau sebatu, atau selangkah atau mungkin juga sejengkal
Bersediakah aku?

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

I am not that 'easy'

Tired of people being rude, pulling face and treat me disrespectfully.
I know I'm no one.
Why bother to take me into account?
Never take serious of me, I know.
You may think or treat me however you like.
But you deserve to receive my dislike to your that particular attitude.
Thank you for making me feel unhappy and feel like a loser.
Like most of my time with you.

Whoever that you, or maybe yous.

At some point, I feel like giving up being nice to people.
Because I'm not perfect.
But don't make me be one.
Because it's sinful.
And I don't wanna live in hatred or anger.
I'd rather hurt myself as long as people around me are happy. 

Saturday, September 6, 2014

mimpi scary~~

After so long I've been living happily without thinking of my future husband,
Last night I dreamed of something creepy.
About this one friend of mine who has married. 
I dreamed about he's being my husband. 
Whutt??
Taknak okay laki orang? Taknak pun kat dia okay?
Takutnyaa.
You know when you're a girl, the most hated thing is being a 'perampas'.
Ok tu mimpi je niena. Kau tak payah nak emo sangat. Tapi aku takut. Diam!

Whatever it is, this 2-week of break for me is so not a break. 
A have lots to do.
And I doubt myself everyday if I manage to cope with all these.
Assignments, Ladies' Night, Malaysian Night, itu dan ini dan sebagainya. 
Honestly sangat cuak.
Doakan saya plz.

If you tell me about someone and you wish that I would be different with him/her, sorry it won't happen. As long as people treat me respectfully, nothing will change my attitude towards him/her, until he/she spoils it. 

Thursday, August 28, 2014

That Awkward Moment

That shortest meeting became the longest meeting in my life.
Because I feel so uncomfortable.
Feel like escaping myself.
But couldn't do so because I'm the secretary.
I kept myself silent because my mind was so busy talking.
And I felt so sizzling.
Felt red.

Haish.
Sometimes feelings are so uncontrollable.
I hated myself when I did that.
Everyone was scared at me.
Because I looked scary I know.
I struggled to act normal and be professional but I failed.

Sorry.
My bad.
Bye.
Good night. 

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Cerita telefon bimbit

It happened so fast.
Dropped my phone in a drain.
It happened right in front of my eyes. 
And my reaction was..
*jerit sekuat hati sampai anak tekak*
It was not planned, of course. 
Tak kan la aku nak jerit sekuat tu tetiba.
Hhmmm tak sampai setahun phone tu.
Sedih.
Terkesima.
Dan kelakar.
Kelakar sebab insiden tu sangat kelakar.
Biasalah aku, gelabah.
Pastu phone tu jatuh dalam longkang yang amat dalam sampai tak nampak langsung dah kelibat dia. 
Gelak gelak jugaklah tapi menangis jugaklah. 
Haih, nienaa niena. 

Mentang mentang housemate kau dua dua pakai phone baru, kau pun taknak kalah.
Kahkahkah.

Begitulah.
Kadangkala hidup ini tak dapat diduga.
Perkara yang kita tak sangka boleh berlaku sekelip mata.
Begitu juga ajal.

Semoga kita semua dipelihara iman sentiasa.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Missing typing here already

It's been quite awhile.

Hello everyone.
So I have no idea again where to start.
Lots of ups and downs went on in my life since I last updated. 

Alhamdulillah Ramadhan went well.
Sad though it has passed.
May this not be the last Ramadhan of mine.
Lots of programs were done during last Ramadhan.

And Eid.
Second time celebrating Eid here in New Zealand.
This year, less homesick.
Managed to throw quite a big open house with my batchmates.
Despite the tiredness, we enjoyed it to the  fullest.
Thanks everyone for coming.

A year.
And heaps of things have changed.
Magical.

 These are the pictures of our Iftar Jama'ie this year.

I was the person in-charge for the quiz competition. :P Had fun handling it anyway :)



Ini reaction malu dan seronok dapat saguhati untuk pertandingan tilawah. Lol. Tak reti pun baca berlagu semua tu. Masuk sekadar menimba pengalaman dan ilmu, Gittew.

Ok ini proper sikitlah. Haaa mira tu project manager event ni k. Berkaliber dan berwawasan sangat. Nak kawin boleh dah nii. HAHA

My family. Bencilah dah tersayang pulak kat mereka. 

Abaikan kaum2 Adam di sebelah kanan. Semua TAKEN. Haa yang belah kiri tu semua boleh InsyaAllah. :P Hiks. 



Friday, July 11, 2014

Susahnya

Tergamam aku mendengar jawapan tu.
Honestly aku tak expect langsung it's a firm no.
She's one of those who never disappoints me.
But this time..

Aku telan
Rasa pahit
Rasa macam taktau cemana nak react
Aku jenis tak reti cover air muka
Lalu aku pun buat2 nak tidur konon takut terlepas sahur
Tapi begitulah
Kecewanya
Rasa gagal

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

My winter-break

Kinda dull.
Because I go nowhere.
Penniless. 
Just went to Palmerston north for the BERSATU Games 2014. 
Alhamdulillah this is my second year joining BERSATU games. 
And really delighted for a week spent there. 

It's so different with BERSATU games I had last year.
Barely knew people.
Once went to AUC group but felt so uncomfortable.
Nobody knew me.
So do I.
So decided to be one of the WMSO supporters.

But this year,
I'm one of the die-hard AUC fans.
Haha.
Die-hard fan of AUC player.
Teet, players I mean. 
HAHA.
Kau suka en camtu niena?
Buat-buat hint gitu.
Blah aar.
Acah-acah berani padahal penakut.
Pastu gelabah.
Puuui.
Hamekau kena sekali dush.



Monday, July 7, 2014

Post-BERSATU

Alhamdulillah it finally ended.

Feeling? Seronooook. Tapi sedih sebab dah habis.
Rasa slim pun ada. Sebab balik2 Auckland rasa macam longgar seluar tetiba.
Lol.

Ish cemana ni.
Nanti mesti sedih.
Bencila.

That line.
It hit me hard.
Won't forget.
Haha. 
But that was true.

Hhhmm serabut plak rasa.
Dok pikiaq sangat sampai masuk mimpi.
Tak logik plak tu.
Well nama pun mimpi.

Agak2 mutual tak?
Teeeet! Haruslah tidak weh! Haha
Kbai.

Friday, June 20, 2014

Ramadhan



Being good

Being good
It's hard
It's hard to be istiqamah in being good.
Being good itself is forever a 'being'.A progressive action.
Never come to an end, till death.
Everyone wants a husnul khatimah.

Sometimes, I'm disappointed with my own self.
For doing things without thinking with both brain and heart.
I just don't know how to put it in words.
I hate being angry to people.
Because in the end, I'm the one to suffer.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Hectic

Student's life
Well, what do you expect my post to be about kalau bukan nak bising pasal assignment, study, kawin etc
Haha tapi this time xde kaitan ngan kawin
I ensure you
It's about my assignment for EDUC 225. The good thing is I don't have exam for this paper. 
But the bad thing is this assignment has A LOT to do. Like seriously, 6 pieces of separate sheets to be submitted for this one assignment. But fair enough, it worth 50%. 
The worse part is, it's due tomorrow and I'm still stuck with it. 
And the exam is the day after tomorrow and I still did nothing for that paper. And it also worth 50%.
So sad, I know.

And look what I'm doing right now!
Still typing, updating my blog.
because I have no idea what to write on my assignment.
If only writing report to students is as easy as writing on the blog.
Actually writing is easy. It becomes difficult when it is assessed.
Why the heck should we evaluate the test when the course itself should be evaluated.
Really.

Arghh 

Lord, help me.
Only You can help me now.
Only you. 
:'(

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Terima Kasih

Terima kasih Sang Pencipta
Terima kasih atas segalanya
Semoga diri ini tak akan terus alpa
Teruskan berusaha
Untuk mengejar redhaNya
Kerna hidup ini tak lama
Sementara sahaja
Akhirat jua kekal selamanya

Somehow kecewa jugak dengan apa yang berlaku.
If only I could turn back time
Kadang, kita fikir apa yang kita buat itu terbaik
Tapi Allah duga jadi sebaliknya
Harus redha
Ada sesuatu yang ingin disampaikan

Pejam mata
Tarik nafas
Ingat
Allah sentiasa ada
If God brings you to it, He will definitely bring you through it

Sempena exam yang bakal tiba
Nak ingatkan pada pembaca yang happen to baca this entri
Niena lah pembaca setia tu
HAHA (oh sungguh pathetic)
Tapi dakpe, blog ini bukan bertujuan dedikasi kepada sesiapa
Ini hanyalah medan jari jemari meluahkan rasa
Asyik mulut berbicara
Bagi peluang sikit pada jari

Eh back to yang tadi
Ingatannya, ingatlah, whatever happened, berusaha
Berusaha dan terus berusaha
Term berusaha sangat subjektif
Jadi terpulang pada anda untuk tafsir
Kerana Allah akan bagi kalau kita berusaha
Kalau dia tak bagi kejayaan pun, dia akan bagi kasih sayang, rahmat nama lainnya
Kita masuk syurga bukan sebab kejayaan kita kan?
Tapi sebab rahmatNya.
Jadi moh ler kita bersama-sama mengejar redhaNya
Moh ler kita berusaha memperoleh rahmatNya
Ikhlas kan hati
Moga apa yang kita buat hanya keranaNya

You know what? bunyi keyboard kat IC ni sangat annoying. keyboard warrior sangat aku. -_-

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

musim bulan mengambang

Ha sekarang zaman banyak assignment
dengan test lagi
dengan perihal elective masing -masing yang begitu begini
lepas tu mula lah semua orang nak mengamuk sana sini
aku sendiri pun asyik rasa nak mengamuk
tapi entahla usually aku cakap je serabut, nak mengamuk
tapi tak reti sangat nak mengamuk cemana
aku mengamuk aku bebel dekat orang cite semua
pastu lega
tapi seriously, kelemahan aku adalah bila gaduh  ngan orang
sumpah itu perkara paaaaaling aku tak suka, paling boleh buat aku down, takleh study, takleh senyum ikhlas, semualah.
tapi benda tu semua memang takleh control
sebaik mana pun kita cuba untuk menjaga hati orang, tapi kadang-kadang lidah ni lagi laju daripada akal
begitulah. 
tapi yakinkan sahaja pada hati 'all iz well' 
Allah tengah menguji
ada sesuatu yang ingin diajar.

Seriously banyak sangat keje aku sekarang :(
But done 2 tests and i'm not really satisfied.
Pray the best for me for my exam pretty pleaseee..

Saturday, May 31, 2014

kenapa aku gelabah?

serious.
kenapa aku over gelabah cenggitu.
mesti beliau hairan.
ah lantaklah.
jangan overthink.
shall we?

takde, ekceli aku ingat si pulan tu nak kenakan aku.
pastu rupanya dia sengaja je.
lepas tu sama sama hairan kenapa jadi sedemikian.
malu jugaklah ekceli.
tapi aku taknak pikir.

perasan tak 'ekceli' aku tu sangat comel?
kahkahkah kalau rasa nak lempang silakan.

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Bila dah tekan nak menaip, mesti stuck kat box 'post title'.
Tak realistik betul.
Selalu kita cakap memang takde tajuk specific. 
Nak cerita minggu ni macam-macam ada.
Penat oii.
Tapi begitulah student life ye dok?

Cumanya hari ni macam hampir mengamuk jugaklah.
Takde aku tak kisah pun orang nak mintak tolong bab-bab assignment ni.
Tapi ada lah seorang makhluk ni pelik sikit cara minta tolong dia.
Mintak jawapan terus. 
Apekah? -_-
Tu bukan caranya adik manisss.

Lagi satu assignment next week untuk mengusutkan kepala.
Takpe niena, you can do it!

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Game


Dunia hanyalah permainan dan senda gurau.
Dah berapa kali diingatkan dengan ayat tu dalam Qur'an tapi manusia masih lalai.
Tak, aku bercakap tentang aku.
Ya aku masih lalai dengan permainan dunia yang sementara ni.
Kadang-kadang berhenti dan berfikir sekejap, di mana kedudukan aku di sisiNya?
Banyak peringatan di sekeliling.

Syukur.
Syukur padaMu ya Allah kerana orang-orang skeliling yang kau anugerahkan.
Aku tahu aku tak sempurna.
Tapi mereka menyempurnakan aku.
Aku mahu bersama mereka.
Orang-orang yang aku sayang. 
Sampai hujung nyawa.
Thank you korang.

                                 




Thursday, May 22, 2014

just a try

It was like barging in someone's random party.
And you have no idea what's going on.
But tried to be one of the party freaks as well.
What??

Yeah but the main idea is there.

Alhamdulillah.
Semoga segalanya berjalan dengan lancar. 
I believe, you can do it. We can do it. 

Semut hitam yang berjalan di atas batu hitam pada waktu malam.
Pernah dengar tu?
Itu lah IKHLAS.
Sukar. 
Kerana itu rahsia antara sang hamba dengan pencipta. 
Benar-benar dua hala. 
Tiada unsur lain yang menempel.
Sukar.
Tapi usaha harus ada.
Allah Maha Mengetahui.
Biar Dia saja baca hati.



Monday, May 19, 2014

A piece of mine

Crashed? Conspiracy? Missing in action?
Gosh! Nobody ever knows.
She still wants to leave in the country.
It's the country of our ancestors.
Oh please, just don't interrupt God's businesses.

(nienaMS, 18th May 2014)



Feel honoured to meet a respected figure, a New Zealand poet, writer and film writer, Anne Kennendy. Hope to spread my wings. InsyaAllah. :)

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

it's gone :D

Oh my!
Can't believe it's gone!
This fast?
At least, gradually.
Congrats Niena :D

My marks are not so satisfying. Sigh. Need to work harder. 
Go Niena, go!

I really love listening to Bridgit Mendler's.
She got her own style.
Very original.
The lyrics are so story-like kinda songs.
And the music is catchy.

Sometimes, when I think about it, I'm freaked out.
I just don't want it to happen again.
I just wanna be happy.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Changed.

Thank God I expected it before.
But still, frustrated.
Like who cares right?

I was so stressful past few days.
Because I got an assignment due in less than 1 week.
Yet I still did nothing.
Because I got other stuffs to do.
And all those stuffs were like interweaving in my head.
I wish I could entangle them all.
And plus knowing about the thing that I don't wanna know on my moody day.
It's just a complete messy day.

Now, I gotta work on my assignment. 

Well well well, everybody's getting marrried. 
Congratulations. 
And congratulation in advance. 

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Stress

I can handle workloads,
but not people's attitude.
Oh well, I know I'm not that behave as well.

Taken. 
Again.
And again. 
Haha.

Take it easy niena.
Keep calm and do your work.
Allah knows the best.
Just enjoy your workloads.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

break

Alhamdulillah.
Easter break and midsem break for 2 weeks.
But got assignment to be done.
And reports too.
Semalam sangat tension.
Rasa nak menangis.
Dah menangis pun actually.
Sebab sakit kepala mengadap laptop tanpa spec.
Spec tinggal kat coromandel.
Nasib baik makcik tu sudi pos.
But still, kena bertahan these few days without spec. 
Mata pun time takde spec ni lah nak merah, so takleh pakai contact lense.
Haih ujian betul. Redha jela.
Tapi semalam buat keputusan nk buat spec baru. 
Kena la buat. Free kot setiap tahun.
Rugi tak buat.
I feel away.
So I better back off.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Prioriti

Kerana soal hati dan perasaan begitu complicated.
Perasan jugaklah yang rupanya aku perasan.
Haha.
Asalkan orang lain tak perasan sudahlah.
Aku macho.
Walaupun kalau aku nervous orang boleh baca.
Aku tahu.
Tapi takpe. 
Facilitator cakap, every individual has their own uniqueness and so they appreciate every individual's uniqueness.
Midsem break yang agak menyedihkan apabila mengenangkan ada submission tatkala orang lain tak perlu fikirkan pasal assignment.
Sampai masa nanti, aku yakin aku akan melangkah daripada zon ini.
Moga2.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

What is wrong with me?

What is wrong with me?
I used to eat almost everything.
Now I don't eat almost everything. Haha ok itu over.
But seriously, banyak benda aku tak makan sekarang. Why oh why?
And aku hanya akan makan sesuatu tu bila aku tengah ada mood untuk makan dia. 
You know what i mean?
I mean, if for example, I feel like eating chicken, I can't accept anything else but chicken.
Even though I was super hungry and that time.
And the fact that I got moody when I'm hungry.
So people, if Niena's hungry, just don't spoil her mood okay?

To be honest, I was planning to get engaged at the end of this year.
With I don't know whom he might be.
Because really, I don't even have calon pon. 
But that was just my plan.
What? Plan? Haha that sounds so realistic.
Not really. I mean, that was just my wish, and still be. 
But to be realistic, I don't think it'll happen. Haha.
Well, God knows better. 

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Hyper

Yes i am hyper.
Laughed a lot with my people.
But with other people, honestly I'm socially awkward. 
Unless there's my people there as well.
Haha.
Yes aku memang kuat mengarut.
Melalut.
Merapek.
Hah apa lagi.
So i hate to be serious sometimes.
Because there are always things to tickle me.

Monday, March 31, 2014

History haunts

It happened to me years ago.
I see the pattern this time is quite the same.
And I'm afraid. 
I'm afraid it'll happen again.
I hope it won't.
It happened naturally. 
Please, it was so tiring.
*flashback*
Scary.

But there are good things beyond it. 
Good as in the blissfulness.
But..
*sigh*

Nobody will ever understand.


Friday, March 28, 2014

Innocence

Babies.
They are just so adorable.
And cute.
And innocent
And pretty.
And you name it.

Because I am babysitting now.
So my affection towards babies grows even bigger.
So let's spam their photos hereeeee...............









Thursday, March 27, 2014

Bullied

Since my schooling days,
I was always being bullied.
And I got used to it.
Or maybe I shouldn't say it 'bully', 
It's just being teased extremely.
lol.

Or budak soksek kata kena perangat,
Kawan kawan sini cakap kena bahan. 
Because I'm Niena.
Even my siblings bully me.



Sunday, March 23, 2014

Complex

It's complicated.

I'm so nervous.
And I become clumsy.
I look so stupid.
And now I feel hated.
Or am I actually right?

If you can't, please just don't hate me. 

I'm trying hard to break the walls. 

Friday, March 7, 2014

Second year, first semester

Arrived in Auckland about 2 weeks ago. 
And my life here had been so busy and hectic.
Just got a house on the first day of the class.
Hectic.
Right after class, went to take the key from the office, damn hungry.
And just had a chance to move in about an hour later, and the loading and unloading went on and on until midnight.
And it's not over yet. 
Caught red handed by the police because I accidentally took the wrong lane. 
It happened so fast.
HAHA.

Anyway,
Alhamdulillah.
Thank you Allah for this.
For everything you give.
:)

And I'm happy. 
Please stay. 

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Treat or treated

Too many things in life do not go our way.
Sometimes it's disappointing that we cried a river.
Yet, we forgot that whatever happened is the best for us.
Indeed.
Because Allah knows the best.
I'm sad and jealous.
Even though I know I can't feel so.
Yet the feelings  keep coming.
I do question myself sometimes, 
do they love me as much as I do?
Or my presence is not as important as the others?
Once I love someone, it's hard for me to 'unlove' them. 
I feel like sometimes, my presence is not welcomed and celebrated.
Unlike the others.

I know I am expressive.
I can't keep good things to myself.
It's my nature I love to share them to my loved ones.
But when it comes to miserable stuffs,
I hate to tell people.
It makes me look dumb.
And less loved.

Today, I think, there's only one person that I can be happy with. 
But I'm not sure whether she's happy being with me.
I know she hates to be loved.
May Allah keep you in his mercy. 

Thank you for treating me well.

My family? No, they are irreplaceable. 
But soon, I have to stand on my own two feet.
Only their dua will be with me. 

Thank you.
This entry just valid for today, or perhaps at this moment. 
Haha

Monday, February 10, 2014

marriage

Maybe I should start thinking about marriage. 
Or perhaps, engagement. 

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

CIRCLE

Circle.

Because we live in a different circle.

Why circle? Because if a circle is spoilt, it is not called a circle. Perhaps oval. Or irregular shape. Like an animal cell which has no cell wall to maintain its shape. Circle is fixed, thus it’s secure.To alter its shape, you have to lengthen the diameter, or make a new circle instead. And you have to have a special tool called ‘compasses’.

It’s hard for us to jump into another circle.

Back then, we were in the same circle. We laughed for the same stupid funny stuffs, and we cried for the same miserable shits.

Today, we are two different human beings. I’m happy with the circle I’m in now. J

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

berat

Berat rasanya mahu angkat kaki

Tapi perjuangan harus diteruskan

Aku kena tabah. Yes, "every hello ends with a goodbye"

Lately, lagu "Salahkah" yang Rossa ngan Hafiz nyanyi tu asyik terngiang je dalam kepala aku. Haha syok pulak layan cerita tu. Gila lah si Mas tu punya obses kat Jebat. Dahla si jebat tu beso bapak, hati kering, boleh Si Mas tu ngengada gitu. Haha. Tapi lakonan diorang tu menjadi semacam aku tengok. Mana tak jeles si Qi. Ok k xnak cakap pasal retis actually. 

Ni nak balik Auckland tak lama dah. Haih, berat nanang orang kampung Nomad kata. kihkih. Maafla aku memang dh terjatuh tersungkur sama itu Nomad. I like him. His character is so cool. Huh apasal mamat tu cakap cenggitu tadi? gelabah jugak tapi play cool. Gituuu..

Aku sekarang ni macam dah tak reti nak menulis A to Z sekarang. Aku just tulis anything yg cross my mind. Usually random things. Bila aku ada benda nak tulis selalunya aku xde mood nak bukak laptop. Bila aku ada mood nak tulis selalunya aku takde motip. Haa gitulah. Jadi, tak heranlah kalau blog aku semakin bosan. Eh, ke memang dari dulu buhsann?? haha

Hari tu keluar dengan rakan taulan. Haih aku cuti memang duduk di rumah asah skill surirumah yang kadangkala membosankan. Jadi tersebutlah kisah aku dapat keluar, jadi mahu spam dengan gegambar. Mahu ditempek di sini buat kenangan. 


Alaaaa alaaaa gambar belerrrr... Sedih ah ni. Tapi aku lebih 100 kira boleh angkat kening ah siket. heheh. Sebenarnya mula2 depa ketaq ngan aku tapi entah guane pait boleh ambil luck aku. ceyt -_-

Kiri tu aku, tengah pait, kanan ikhwan. Aku rasa pait macam tepu. Ke tough? Entah. Asal dia bahagia. 


Dan bawah bawah ni semua gambar bongok dan bongek aku.













Sabar je. Sukati dia ni ambik gambar aku tak ready. Nampak gila aku kepoh. Jijah ngan Ikhwan steady je pose dari awal sampai akhir. Foine. Foine. 







Perasan tak Pait memang suka pejam mata bila ambik gambaq. Cameraphobic nama penyakit dia ni. sukati. Anyway, thanks guys for making my day. Actually happy sangat :') hihiiii. Hope to see more of my friends before I go back to NZ. 

K lah, untung aku dapat souvenir dari Korea tau. Hehe. 

Aaaaaa k tak reti ni nak buat penutup.
Bye.
Assalamualaikum.